“Capitalism Always Finds A Way” – How Texas Strip Clubs Are Surviving The Pandemic

Scott Gottlieb said over the weekend that encouraging signs that the outbreak may have “peaked” are beginning to emerge in some parts of the Sun Belt – though the US is still far from done with this yet, and Americans should take caution. A few hours later, Texas health officials reported the state’s lowest daily tally of new coronavirus cases in two weeks (as deaths in the state topped 5,000).

It seems Gov Abbott’s belated decision to close bars, restaurants and other businesses for in-person service is having some kind of impact. Meanwhile, COVID-19 is no longer the state’s only immediate problem.

All the while, as volatile oil prices have whiplashed the state’s economy, heaping more pain on the state’s labor market, a group of strip club owners won a victory in Texas’s conservative courts allowing them to reopen as “restaurants with entertainment”, hosting what amounts to outdoor adult entertainment, mostly held in large tents set up outside.

Houston-based Vivid Gentleman’s Club became the first “drive-thru strip club” in the state when it reopened just last week. A reporter from the Houston Chronicle described “black metal barricades separate the dancers from the cars, and dollar bills litter the asphalt between the white siding of the tent walls. The purplish-blue lighting casts a familiar (to club-goers) ambience over the scene, but obvious reminders of the pandemic remain; some of the performers are in face masks.”

Like with strip clubs allowed to reopen in other states, performers kept their masks on while removing their clothes.

While restaurants are now allowed to operate at 50% capacity and bars are still currently shut down across Texas, strip clubs, which fall in a grey area, were forced to adapt.

Cars pull up under a white tent, order food, and while they wait, they can watch the girls – both masked and unmasked – dance. However, the experience comes with a limit that most customers probably find unappealing: There’s a two-song limit per customer.

Stories about these ‘drive thru’ clubs are starting to circulate on social media, inspiring a flood of commentary, with tweets ranging from humorous, to incredulous, to sarcastic.

Texas shut down strip clubs so the strip clubs started selling “food with live entertainment” in tents to get the restaurant classification and stay open, god bless america

— Nick (@NickatFP) July 27, 2020

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Hold on now they’re saying the breakfast menu is limited

— Nick (@NickatFP) July 27, 2020

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Even the replies to @NickatFP’s tweet were of an unusually high quality.

Capitalism always finds a way.

— Cate Long (@cate_long) July 27, 2020

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Keeping it classy in Texas $RICK

— Tow Master $MLR (@Alex__Pitti) July 27, 2020

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Gun show loophole is undefeated

— Adam Singer (@AdamSinger) July 27, 2020

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A “friend” tells me the wings are good tho

— Wandering Sam (@tbonesam99) July 27, 2020

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Sounds like a certain car company

— Tow Master $MLR (@Alex__Pitti) July 27, 2020

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Not all heroes wear capes.

A lot of them wear g-strings or less

— TS (@tweetstar10) July 27, 2020

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They’re serving breasts…and wings?

Breasts and wings

— Stocks, Guns, Cars & Babes (@SGCBTweets) July 27, 2020

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Is it any wonder Elon Musk and Joe Rogan are reportedly ditching California for the Lone Star State?